


First Christmas

by CheezPleez



Category: Batman: The Animated Series
Genre: Christmas, especially at Christmas, no one should be alone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-27
Updated: 2019-11-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:08:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21585094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CheezPleez/pseuds/CheezPleez
Summary: The holidays can be hard to navigate when you don't really have anywhere to go especially if you are a criminal in Gotham city.
Kudos: 11





	First Christmas

**Author's Note:**

> very brief mention of assault and abuse but figured it was good to give a heads up.

“Harvey, Hold still.” Penguin placed a hand on his shoulder. “Sorry, I’m not exactly fond of the Idea of having Quinn that close to my face with a needle, or really any sharp object.” He growled. She forced his head to the side. “Too bad. You should know better than to pick fights with Maroni. He can make sure no one who knows better helps you. Good thing Cobblepot doesn’t know better either.” He huffed at the comment but didn’t argue it. After much fussing Harley was able to stitch up the jagged cut from a glass bottle that ran down his face. He wasn’t certain he should mention that it was at least on his “bad” side. “What were you doing at the Stacked deck on Christmas eve? Everyone knows that’s the one time of year certain people aren’t allowed there.”  
“He means us in case you didn’t register that twofers.” He growled and shoved her away. It was then that Harley realized. “Hey Ozzy, this is his first criminal Christmas, He didn’t know. How would he it’s not like they give ya a handbook.”

He wrung his hands awkwardly. “Oh dear. I hadn’t even thought of that. My apologies we should have told you. Maroni and Thorn take over a lot of those places for their thugs and we are not to come near them unless of course invited. It’s bad enough dealing with the Bat we don’t need the Mob coming at us from both sides.” He got up and looked out the Window of the Iceberg lounge. The streets were empty and quiet as the snow continued to fall. “So I get why you’re here but shouldn’t you be with Joker or maybe Isley?” he said pointing over at Harley. She groaned and put her feet up on the table. “Puddin dumped me for a Christmas with the Bat. Apparently I was too over the top for his plan and Pam is out saving trees or some shit like that but in case you hadn’t noticed there's 2 feet of snow out there and I don't exactly have a cute winter outfit. The Iceberg is always the place to be on Christmas for some of us. Though I don’t know where everyone else is.”

Penguin sat with her at the table and fixed himself a cup of tea. “Well Edward is prancing around town in a Santa suit leaving riddles in department store toy sections while he robs them, Victor more often spends the holiday is solitude and after last year's incident Clayface and Croc aren’t exactly welcome. I hated to do it but even I draw the line at assault. That leaves Jonathan, Ms. Isley if she decides to come and hasn’t been arrested and well I think that’s it. Everyone else is in Arkham right now. Will you be staying Harvey?” He was already heading towards the door. He was certain he could find someplace to lay low for now. “Pass.” Harley shrugged. “Your loss. Heads up though Thorn has every skeezy motel that would otherwise have us booked up. He’s literally trying to freeze out the competition.” He turned back toward her. “Then where do you suggest I go?” he growled. She patted the chair next to her. “Right here. There ain’t no room at the inn until the day after tomorrow.” Penguin Shrugged. “It’s not your worst option. By all means if you want Maroni to finish carving you face like a leftover pumpkin go ahead.”

“Did someone say pumpkin?” Scarecrow had just walked into the room his typical hat replaced with a Santa hat. Harley laughed. “We were trying to explain to Harv the law of the land at Christmas.” He sat down with them. “Oh the holly jolly fuck you from Thorn and Maroni. I wasn’t aware that no one told you about that Two face.” He grumbled and took a seat at the table. “Looks like i’m here for the night.” he said laying the coin on the table to show the bad side facing up. Penguin nodded. “A wise choice.” 

They passed the hours talking and playing cards. Harley squealed when she saw Pam come stopping in. She sat at the table her arms crossed “Any tree that is stupid enough to survive in winter can save it’s self.” Harvey couldn’t help but laugh. “Things not go as planned?” She glared at him. “No one actually seems to buy the trees from the lot. They have all got plastic. How can you cause a problem if three is no problem to cause. The trees on the lot are even being recycled. They made it impossible for me to do anything. So Douglass firs can fuck off for all I care.” Harley wrapped her in a hug. “Aw Red. I liked your plan. It was kinda grinchy in style really cute. At Least you are here with us for the holiday.” She let Harley hug her for a few minutes more. “Oh get a room you two.” Jonathan said with a smirk. “Oh we plan to jackass” Harley said sticking her tongue out. “Now, now, I don’t want to have to clean up any mess tonight.” 

A while later the doors burst open and Riddle tumbled inside. He looked disheveled and bruised. “Eddie! Did ya actually get away from the Bat?” He sat down at the chair. “Hardly. I ran into some of Maroni’s christmas guests at my last stop. I tripped the alarm and we all scattered but they took my earnings for the night. I might be a bit crazy but Edward Nygma is certainly not stupid, I peeled out and watched the Bat pulverize them. I then collected all my riddles from the night and let them take the fall. At Least I have some material for the new year it just a shame I have nothing to show for it.” Penguin passed him a drink. “Well you are alive that's something to start with and you saw Maroni’s men go down for your misdeeds as it were.”

Harley had now plucked the Santa hat from his head. “Where did ya get the snazzy suit anyway Eddie?” He snatched the hat back. “Same place all my suits come from, I made them.” Ivy spat her drink. “You made that? Damn.” He looked at them. “Where did you get your getups from then?” Harley shrugged “this is a store bought suit.”  
“Same” replied Ivy and Crane.” they all looked down at two face. “Well what about yours?” He didn’t answer. Penguin nodded. “It’s ok if you would rather not say. Edward when did you learn to sew?” He looked at them. “Seriously none of you learned to sew? My mother taught me how to fix my clothes because she was tired of replacing ones torn in schoolyard scuffles. It was more of a necessity. If she didn’t need to buy me new clothes my father wouldn’t beat my ass red and then some. It worked for the most part and it seems to be a useful skill for my current enterprises.” 

“I can fix a small tear or a button or Harvey’s face but I couldn’t manage a whole outfit.” He looked over and spotted the stitches. “Ah you had your run in with Maroni too huh? I will say I wish you had been able to put that rotten bastard away. I did actually plan on voting for you for D.A. Who knows maybe someone will put him in his place someday.” Penguin could see that the conversation was a bit of a sore subject. “Perhaps a change of conversations is needed. Let's not dwell on the bad things tonight.”  
“What do you suggest then Christmas movies and carols?” He growled. Frustrated that he was stuck here with nowhere to go.”Generally yes Harvey. It may seem silly but it can be nice. One of the few times of the year we can relax. As long as we stay here the Batman stays out there. It’s an unspoken rule. Peace on earth good will toward men.”

They moved upstairs and Penguin began to set up an old movie projector while Harley and Riddler were tossing pillows on the floor. He dimmed the lights and settled into a plush chair leaving Harvey to share the couch with Pam and Jonathan. When they got to It’s a wonderful life he couldn’t help but remember trying to convince Bruce to watch the film. He always told him that he didn't need a film to tell him that he mattered. It had been years since he had watched some of these movies. Grace always called them old and Hokey. They had started a drinking game pointing out the times that Old man Potter reminded them of penguin. While he wasn't thrilled with the concept he did play along. 

The next morning he woke up on the couch wearing a Santa hat. He wasn’t hung over like the others but He did end up enjoying himself last night. “Merry Christmas ya morons.”


End file.
